Go to navigation Go to content
Phone: 757-395-4017

Collaborative divorce is a welcome alternative to the traditional adversarial divorce

Collaborative divorce is a welcome alternative to the traditional adversarial divorce. The collaborative divorce process offers divorcing couples an escape from the conventional litigation driven divorce, and removes much of the confrontational “win-lose” mentality normally embraced by the spouses. Designed to encourage cooperation, communication, and a focus on the future, it is no wonder that many couples are turning to a collaborative process for their divorces.

When spouses are considering a collaborative divorce in lieu of a conventional divorce, there are a number of values and goals, which if held by the spouses, will support their choice of the collaborative divorce process. To help you determine if the collaborative divorce is the right fit and the correct choice for your situation, consider whether the following values and goals are important to you:

  • To be able to cooperate as parents without continuing to focus on your past marital problems and your former roles as spouses.
  • To prioritize the needs and best interests of your children.
  • To maintain respect in all interactions with your former spouse, even when in disagreement.
  • To move forward with your lives while leaving you past conflict behind.
  • To listen objectively to what the other has to say while giving due consideration to their needs and opinions.
  • To work together to solve your mutual problems, especially where children are involved.
  • To behave honorably with your spouse so that you may retain a working relationship with your ex spouse that will most benefit your children and the many other post divorce relationships with extended family.
  • To keep control over the pace and direction of your divorce, without being forced to resort to the courts.
    In all circumstances, divorce is a very personal matter for the spouses and their families and will inevitably evoke intense emotions and sensitivities. There is no “one size fits all” approach to divorce, and all couples will need to choose the process which they feel is best situated to their unique situation.

Ultimately, the collaborative divorce offers many benefits unavailable in a conventional divorce. Collaborative divorce is especially well adapted for divorcing parents who want to maintain an atmosphere that is conducive to successful co-parenting and the least unsettling for the parties and their children. The collaborative divorce process is especially successful when positive and cooperative on-going relationships are desired and the spouses are able to move past the inherent adversarial nature of divorce.


An outstanding job on my case to have custody, visitation and support decided in my home state instead of Virginia after I separated from military service.- A.E.